Down Memory Lane

I was bored yesterday. And somehow I started reading the old blog. Oooeeemmgeeeee, who the heck is that girl???! (for lack of better word walaupon I was already married n pregnant n then mother of 1 at that point) She was so bubbly and such a chatterbox. And it got me thinking. What happened? Have I changed that much?

I very much would like to think I've matured over the last 10 years and that is what it is. But I also believe it is much more complex than that. I remembered at that time (in 2004) and looking back 10 years, I said the same thing too. Now I'm wondering what my future self would say about my current self. Heh. 

4 kids and 10 years of marriage mellowed me. Hubby says it is his influence. To a point, I agree. He has. But then, a relationship that works in my opinion is one where we mirror each other at some points and complete each other in some other points. And that is what it is. The tornado in me has been somewhat calmed down by Hubby's own chill out nature. I am more laid back and relaxed now compared to 10 years ago. 

Being happy and content with life does that to you too I believe. And that is where I am now. Happy. Content with life. Syukur with all the rahmah that has been bestowed upon me. Alhamdulillah.

Phone-less

I have been that for 10 days now (but who's counting :P)

Observations for being phone-less;

1. I am not as concerned about the missed calls as I am about the missed Whatsapp messages. Goes to show,the phone has become a social attachment rather than a necessity.
2. I know now how I take having a camera ready as a handy thing forgranted. Missed out on a couple of moments due to the "ah crap, can't take a picture of this now"
3. I have started to pick up where I left off books (as in physical books) that have been abandoned halfway previously. (This one could also be mainly due to the fact that I am trying to not get Amir attached to gadgets so much that I have to hide the mini / ipad from him, thus I can't read my ebooks in front of him)
4. I zikir / recite ayats more now as a result of not having the phone with me while bfeeding Amir (this I believe is a MAJOR improvement!)
5. I have started blogging again! Enough said :)

Side note :: phone is apparently unsalvageable *sigh* 

Reflection

Every day when I send J to school, or even when I pick her up I will be greeted by this sweet 5 year old who will without fail ask me who I was sending / picking up.

I would normally just respond to her as I usually do when it comes to questions from these preschoolers.

Early this week, I was told by one of the teachers that the said 5 year old has just lost her mother. *gasp* Innalillahiwainnailahirajiuun.. She is now staying with her aunt (saya takde Mama, tapi saya ada Mommy).

But what amazes me is that although she knows her mother is gone, she does not throw a tantrum. She maintains her sweet demeanour. She still greets me as se usually does. And when asked by her teacher if she wanted to salam me, she quickly did so. I couldn't help but hug her and give her a kiss. Subhanallah.. I was the one with tears in my eyes.

And I can't help but wonder, if anything were to happen to me how would the children fare. Who will be staying with them?

*tiba - tiba byk yg perlu difikirkan*