Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Down Memory Lane

I was bored yesterday. And somehow I started reading the old blog. Oooeeemmgeeeee, who the heck is that girl???! (for lack of better word walaupon I was already married n pregnant n then mother of 1 at that point) She was so bubbly and such a chatterbox. And it got me thinking. What happened? Have I changed that much?

I very much would like to think I've matured over the last 10 years and that is what it is. But I also believe it is much more complex than that. I remembered at that time (in 2004) and looking back 10 years, I said the same thing too. Now I'm wondering what my future self would say about my current self. Heh. 

4 kids and 10 years of marriage mellowed me. Hubby says it is his influence. To a point, I agree. He has. But then, a relationship that works in my opinion is one where we mirror each other at some points and complete each other in some other points. And that is what it is. The tornado in me has been somewhat calmed down by Hubby's own chill out nature. I am more laid back and relaxed now compared to 10 years ago. 

Being happy and content with life does that to you too I believe. And that is where I am now. Happy. Content with life. Syukur with all the rahmah that has been bestowed upon me. Alhamdulillah.


Friday, May 11, 2012

It's All in the Mind

Yeah right!

Look at that! The EBM stock is dwindling. Compared to this pic in this post.

I can look at it from 2 different angles; one - Alhamdulillah Amir is drinking a lot and getting a lot of nutrients and growing up oh so healthy or two - I am not producing enough for him thus elevating me to panic mode.

Right now, I am looking at it from angle 2. *sigh*

Maka, a general reminder to self on things to do to boost up production:

• eat right, eat often
• drink lots and lots of water
• keep away from negative feelings, negative people (also negative postings on FB - I find those to be the most disturbing)
• do not skip the pumping sessions
• do not worry that emptying the milk during pumping will then cause lack of milk when time comes to feeding
• be yakin that you will be able to pump enough for your baby
• above all else, before pumping nawaitu in your heart you are doing this for your baby lillahi taala.

It helps if you can get milk boosters or enhancers. Some of the things that work for me includes; (bear in mind, different things works for different people - it is mostly trial and error)

• my 'happy food' which are chocolates and froyo
• lobak putih
• milkmaid tea

Let's go grab some happy food! :)


Thursday, April 19, 2012

Reflecting

Again, reading up old posts.. Found this one which I think needs to be put up again as a reminder.. (this was from Aug 2005)


Btw, that growth is still there.. And it is no more thyroid related. Masih procrastinate to do anything about it. Heh..


This week has been trying and tiring.

The news from the doctors' last week and the busy schedule for this week has taken a toll on me and also on Hubby. He has been so busy with his on going project. Going to sub-con's site in the wee hours of the nite, working till subuh. And then having to deal with me and my crankiness lagi. Memang it was betul2 menduga our relationship. I hated the fact that he has to work late, pastu balik sambung buat keje lagi. I was also kinda sad (read : terasa) that he didn't go to the hospital with me last week. I know he had that important meeting and I do understand that, tapi kan when you're being told that something is wrong with you, you want your loved ones to be with you. At least, Mama & Papa was with me at that time.. so, ok la skit. Kalau aku kena pegi sorang2.. aku rasa mau aku nangis2 je the whole time. (Hubby sayang, I'm not trying to make you feel guilty tau. Am just stating it as it is. Don't worry about it.. I'm ok with it now)

Where was I?Ya rabbi, cik puan nana has digressed. Anyway, the point I was trying to make was we were so busy and so absorbed with what was happening in our own lives that we forgot to give support to the other. So, we sat down and had a talk. We came up with a plan. And the plan was, we'll set aside one night each week for an 'us' time. Tak kire la, movie ke.. jalan2 ke.. fancy schmancy dinner ke. Just the 2 of us. Out on a date. Some people may say, skarang ni boleh lagi la.. Aliah kecik lagi, belum paham ape2. But in my opinion, you'll need to make it work somehow. Have to. Kena jugak cuba. Kalau tak cuba, camne nak make it work? Tul tak? I guess I am luckier in the sense that I have a live in maid. So, anytime we feel like going for our 'dates' we could. Although, most of the time one of us will be feeling so the very guilty pasal kena tinggalkan Aliah for the whole day. Imagine je la kan, when we leave for work in the morning dia baru je bangun. And if we do go out after work, by the time we get back, she's fast asleep. I don't blame her kalau dia bangun tengah2 malam merengek and suddenly just wants to talk. And that little girl can really talk now! Her blabbering, her humming, her screams. I know she just wants our attention. And I also just found out the reason she wakes up at night and cries is because she's afraid of the dark. Aiyoo.. digress lagi.

I'm lucky that Hubby is the kind of guy who is willing to discuss stuff. We can talk about everything. Even about the things we're not happy with each other. I'm so very thankful I married him


8 yrs down the road, we still manage to make time for an "us" time.. and we can still talk about everything. Alhamdulillah...

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

My Eldest Dearest..

Berbahagialah Wahai Anak-Anak Sulung | iluvislam.com discover the beauty of islam


"Adik-adik dapat semuanya, dulu saya tak dapat apa pun!"
"Kenapa adik A dapat laptop? Baru tingkatan empat! Dulu saya beli laptop di universiti guna duit biasiswa!"
" Yelah, dulu saya jalan kaki je dalam kampus, adik B boleh pula mama belikan dia kereta!"
"Sampai hati ayah, tiap-tiap hari 'topup'kan untuk adik C. Untungla dia, bukan mcm aku."
"Menyampah aku tgk adik D, mama asyik urutkan kaki dia je. Kaki aku ni lenguh-lenguh tak de pulak aku mengada-ngada macam dia!"
"Tak adil betul mak dan ayah, saya bertunang dulu tak buat besar-besaran macam adik E pun!"
"Aku pun jarang balik juga, tapi mak asyik masakkan masakan kegemaran adik F je. Benci".
Ungkapan ini selalu kita dengar dari mulut anak-anak sulung kan?

Kenapa selalu terjadi begini?
Sedangkan jarak umur tidak begitu jauh, kadang-kadang kita dengan adik-adik selang setahun sahaja. Sedangkan kita pun belajar rajin-rajin untuk ambil hati mak ayah kita. 

Sedangkan kita pun berlumba-lumba buat baik untuk dapat secebis perhatian mereka.
Sedangkan kita pun berusaha untuk penuhi segala impian ibu bapa kita.
Sedangkan kita tak putus-putus doakan mereka, dalam doa, setiap ingatan adalah untuk mereka.
Pendek kata semuanya, segalanya telah kita cuba lakukan untuk menawan hati mereka.
Tapi, kita masih berasa gagal, berasa ibu bapa kita tidak adil, pilih kasih, dan suka melebih-lebihkan adik-beradik yang lain!
Kenapa ya?

Wahai anak-anak sulung dan mungkin sulung.
Bersabar banyak-banyak ya. Sebenarnya inilah peluang kita untuk mengadu pada Allah sebanyak-banyaknya, betapa sedih hati kita, betapa kecewanya kita dengan sikap ibubapa kita. Jangan risau anak-anak sulung, Allah Maha Menghitung, setiap niat di hati kecil kita, setiap apa yang kita usahakan, setiap kebaikan yang kita cuba lakukan, semuanya Allah hitung. Jika mereka tidak memandang, jika mereka tidak sebut-sebut, anggap sahaja usaha itu sebagai percubaan kita untuk membalas jasa mereka yang tidak ternilai besarnya di dunia ini. Tidak rugi kita membuat kebaikan pada mereka, malah Allah janjikan syurga bagi mereka yang berbuat baik pada ibubapa. Mereka berdua ialah insan yang paling banyak menggembirakan kita sewaktu kecil dulu. Mereka berdua ialah insan yang paling gembira semasa kita dilahirkan ke dunia ini. Besarnya jasa mereka tetap tidak dapat kita balas walau dengan segunung emas. Apalah kecilnya kebaikan kita jika hendak dibandingkan dengan susah payah mereka dahulu??

Anak-anak sulung yang disayangi Allah..
Lihat ke belakang, mungkin ada silap kita yang menyakiti hati mereka tanpa kita sedari?
Mungkin kata-kata kita selalu pedas? Atau terlalu banyak bunga-bunga 'api' dalam kata-kata kita kepada mereka?
Mungkin ada perbuatan kita yang terus-terusan membuat mereka benci atau ada sikap kita yang membuatkan mereka 'fed-up' dan rimas? Pengotor, atau suka marah-marah?

Mungkin kita suka mengungkit-ungkit kebaikan yang kita lakukan pada mereka?
Cuba muhasabah kembali apa sikap yang ibubapa kita benci? Atau risik-risik pada adik-beradik yang menjadi 'anak emas' mereka, manalah tahu kalau-kalau ibubapa kita mengadu pada mereka. Sekurang-kurangnya kalau sudah jelas, boleh juga kita cuba berubah. Ya tak? Cubalah.

Peralihan zaman juga mungkin sebabnya. Dulu, ibubapa kita susah, gaji tidaklah sebesar gaji sekarang. Nak makan di luar pun susah, apatah lagi nak bermewah-mewahan. Tapi sekarang, adik-adik beruntung, apa sahaja yang di'godek-godek' pada ibu, semuanya akan dibeli. Apa saja yang di'ngomel-ngomel' pada ayah, terus boleh dapat. Betul kan?
Sebenarnya kita bertuah.
Bertuah kerana Allah telah memilih kita bersama-sama mengharungi hidup 'susah' dahulu dengan ibubapa kita. Mungkin waktu itu adik-adik kita masih kecil dan tidak tahu apa-apa. Mereka terlepas saat-saat sukar yang mengikat hati, menambah sayang kita pada ibubapa kita. Kita menyaksikan 'kesusahan' mereka di depan mata kita, membuatkan kita nekad untuk memberi yang terbaik dalam hidup kita untuk mereka. Adik-adik merasai kemewahan hari ini tanpa melalui 'kesusahan' dahulu, itu rezeki mereka. Percayalah, rezeki kita tetap ada. Allah kan Maha Adil?

Bertuah lagi sebab kita tidak menyusahkan ibubapa kita dengan meminta itu dan ini. Tidak memberatkan mereka dengan permintaan kita, walaupun ibubapa kita mampu. Kita anak-anak sulung yang baik, meringankan ibubapa kita. Nak meminta-minta tak sampai hati, kan? Mereka pun tak pening kepala nak penuhi permintaan kita. Bertuah kan kita?
Ada lagi bertuah? Bertuah lagi sebab ibubapa kita sebenarnya menganggap kita sudah pandai berdikari dan boleh menguruskan diri. Anak sulung hatinya kuat. Apa sahaja boleh dibuat. Sayang adik-adik, selalu mengalah. Sayang ibubapa, selalu menolong apa sahaja, sebab kita besar daripada adik-adik. Sebab itu ibubapa kita kurang memberi-beri pada kita, baik pada kasih sayang, mahupun material. Kita kan anak sulung yang hebat??
Buat anak-anak sulung yang memang Allah kasihi,
Sesungguhnya setiap manusia diuji dengan ujian yang berbeza. Bukan kita sahaja yang diuji sebegini, ramai lagi yang lebih hebat ujiannya. Ada mereka yang tidak pernah merasa kasih sayang ibubapa sejak lahir lagi. Cukuplah ibubapa kita telah berjaya membesarkan kita, merasa kasih sayang mereka sejak kita kecil. Ibubapa kita juga manusia, tidak terlepas daripada membuat kesilapan. Mana ada ibubapa yang bencikan anak, cuma kadang-kadang mereka terlepas pandang anak sulung mereka ini, atau mereka sedang berkecil hati dengan kita. Maafkanlah mereka, bersangka baik dan jangan berhenti membuat kebaikan kepada mereka. Jangan sesekali menghitung kebaikan kita kepada mereka. Jadilah anak sulung yang cekal, baikhati dan sentiasa berserah segalanya pada Allah. "Sayang ibu berkorban nyawa, sayang ayah berkorban jiwa". Terus kuat ya anak-anak sulung!

Artikel iluvislam.com by Nurulhuda Ghazali

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Dilemma

I am to start work this Monday, but after being home for the last 2 months and being with the kids I am very reluctant to do so.

It has not helped that we have been having problems with our maid of late. Banyak lemak as we Malays put it. I am forever memang bersabar je lah dengan dia.

J is always at odds with her. I put it down to communication failure. And to a point different approach from how we handle the kids. Makes it difficult for me to leave her with the kids.

And now you add Amir to the equation. Lagi lah parah. Left her for half a day with them pun she was already complaining left right center. Walhal, I left her at home with Amir about 11ish, J comes back from school around 1230 and Aliah only gets back around 530ish.

I want to be there for Aliah when she has questions. I want to be there for Jannah in developing her to be her own self. I want to be there for Amir and watch him grow.

In all honesty, I am seriously contemplating being a SAHM. InsyaAllah if it is the best route, I will.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Addition to the Arshad Clan






This is Khalisah Zahrah, my newest niece born on the 14th November 2011. A splitting image of her elder sister who is extremely excited about getting a sibling.

A big congratulations to my brother and sis in law for this bundle of joy!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Thursday, August 18, 2011

For Life





We bonded during our MCB years, circa '95.. About 16 yrs ago. And it has been a 16 year friendship going on strong. Of course there were its ups and downs, its factions and the long distance part where half of us were in UK / States and the other half scattered across the country. But now, we've all settled into our routines which makes it easier (just so slightly) to meet up and catch up. It helps that there is FB and YM too.

They are the sisters I never had.




And it was nice to see our 2nd gen playing together.. I do hope they find this kind of everlasting friendship too.


Photos credit to Ogy
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

The End

Something happened last week that really bugged me. Or more to the point, pissed me off. Actually, I was extremely angry. With the maid that is. The story goes like this,

I came back from work and it was a really tiring day to be greeted by a really sad sulking Aliah.

It took some coaxing before she told me what her problem was. Or rather showed to me with actions. A rocket launching, hitting the earth (or our home to be exact) and boom everyone dies. Shocked was too mild of a word for me at that point.

"Where did you get that idea Kakak?"
Instead of answering my question, she asked one of her own.
"Mommy, how old will Little Baby be in the year 2013?"
"Little Baby will be 1 plus"
"But he will still be so small... " And she started to cry. 
(note : Aliah wants the baby to be a boy, thus referring to it as "he" most of the time)
"Nanti siapa nak selamatkan baby?"

Apparently Anik was talking to her about doom's day earlier and speculated something about it happening in the year 2013. 

Mommy terus naik hangin la kan, haperhal pulak ni pegi citer merapu dekat anak aku ni!

But my main concern at that point was to calm down an extremely distraught 6 year old.

So I told her, as simple as I could that Qiamat is something which we all as Muslims should believe in because it will happen. (she's learnt the Rukun Iman in school, so it was easier to relate that back to her) And I told her that only Allah knows when it will happen whether it would be in 2013 or some other year. What we can do is to pray and doa that we would all be kept safe and would be together in syurga. And that's why she needs to be a good Muslimah. 

It took a while for her to calm down. Meanwhile, si Adik yang cheeky ni dah datang buat lawak nak try pujuk Kakak dia yang tengah nangis tu. Hehehe..

After she calmed down, she said to me,

"Mommy, cepat mandi. Jom kita solat."

Subhanallah.. my daughter is amazing. :)

[Hubby talked to Anik about it - as I was really still not in the right mind frame to be talking to her; honestly I would have been really angry still and said something I would regret. In her defence, Anik said she was talking about the tsunami alert which she heard from her relatives in Jakarta. Itu pun satu hal jugak, panik tak bertempat la .. the alert was in NZ for goodness sake! Anyway, Hubby told her not to talk about stuff like that with the girls]

This has actually made me have another one of my wishful SAHM moments again. I want to be there for the kids IQ & EQ development.. I need to be there.. InsyaAllah one fine day soon..


Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Another Try

Lilypie Maternity tickers

Yup, Alhamdulillah. After months of trying, we are finally 6 weeks pregnant (at the time of first jotting this down). And again, this will be a compilation and would only be posted after Week 12. 

Apr 25 - Because it was somewhat difficult this round, and also because of what happened last year.. I am more sceptical and also cautious about being pregnant. And about being too excited about it. I was all for postponing doing the home test, but Hubby insisted as I was really feeling under the weather and he wanted to know whether he needs to be worried or excited about it. :P

As it is now, only a couple of people know. But somehow the 2 girls can sense it already. Aliah by asking too many questions and Jannah by being extra clingy and whiny and cengs.


Apr 27 - It has started. And it is bad! Oh god, I have aversions to almost everything! Anything that smells even remotely strong gets me nauseous. Semalam Enche' Hubby nak makan hotdog pon kena jauh2, kesian dia. Ahaks! I hope it doesn't get worse. Right now I'm concern about going outstation.. don't know how I am going to do this. Just wing it I guess.


May 2 - I've been spotting the last couple of days, and it has gotten me a bit worried. But at least we know for sure I won't be going outstation anytime soon. The morning sickness is bad. The worse so far. And all so soon too. But I am taking all of this in stride. 


Aliah suprised me yesterday, she said her doa after her Isya' prayer was to keep Little Baby safe and so that s/he does not "hilang" like the other baby. And she said, even though that baby is not here, that baby is still her adik. Subhanallah.. she always makes me be syukur to be her mother.


Jannah has finally said "yes" to the question "Can we have a baby in the house?". And she wants a baby girl. Kakak wants a boy because Papa is the only boy in the house - kesian dia. :D


May 6 - 7 weeks down, 32ish to go. Went for first obgyn check-up yesterday at AnNur. Dr. Kham was very thorough, and even said so herself given the history. For now she wants me to come in every 2 weeks to ensure everything is moving along fine. Got a peek of little baby's heartbeat during the ultrasound. Awesome! 


Alhamdulillah the spotting has stopped. But I am on duphaston now. 


I can't remember the sickness being this bad in any of the previous pregnancies. But then, maybe I am having selective memory. Haha. Hubby is taking all this in stride - bless him. He said, he is expecting anything and everything from me for the next couple of months.. :P


May 11 - sickness is still on the lowest of low. Really bad. On average of 2-3 vomits per day, and that is for my good days. *sigh* I sure hope that it won't last long. I don't think my body can take this kind of physical torture. Am on an all out lembek-ness day in day out. 


May 18 - I notice I've not keep track much. I think its because at the back of my mind, there is that niggling doubt. I am so afraid to hope. But at the same time I can't help but hope. Contradicting much? Haha! Little Baby is 9 weeks today. 3cm.. still oh so small. And has fingernails and toe nails already?! How cute is that? :)


I do wish these pregnancy dreams can be toned down a little. Downright weird most of the times I tell you. Haishh.. Makes me wake up more tired!


Have another appointment tomorrow. Can't wait!


June 8 - terus lupa nak update. boleh tak? haish... been under the weather, and same as when I was carrying Jannah.. I dislike technology. I've quit playing ALL games - on PC, on iPhone, on iPad. Bleargghh. 


Anyway, the appointment went well. And baby is growing well. Alhamdulillah. However, I am paranoid and I will be so until I pass this 1st trimester and get to see the doc again. Which will be next week. Oh, please please make the time go quick. 


So, I am 12 weeks today. Alhamdulillah. Have passed 1 of the paranoia criteria. Even though I am only 12 weeks long, I look like I am already in my 4-5 month (if you were to look at my previous pregnancies that is). Most of my clothes don't fit me anymore. *sigh* And I have already the maternity clothes out. *yaayy for shopping for new clothes* haha!


Last week was a bad week though, back was in pain. Extreme pain. Oh, sungguh tidak suka.


Little Baby is supposed to be the size of a pear now, about 7cm long. I can't lie, I am excited! :D


June 28 - Hamek kao.. punya la bz dan takde mood. Terus lupa nak keep progress. Ah well, as it is most of the important people in my life knows about this already.. So I guess, this is a good time to announce it to the world.


Pray that all will go well. InsyaAllah..

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Spending Time

I have started travelling again for work. After 3++ years. Yes, it has been that long.. The last time I went outstation wouldn't even count as it was a 1 night stay only.

I had mixed feelings about accepting the responsibility initially. On one hand, I knew it would involve quite a lot of time being away but at the same time I was stuck in this rut that if I didn't do something to jolt myself back into a good state of mind I was totally going to lose it. In a way, you could say I didn't have much choice but to accept the task solely for the sanity of my IQ.

So, last week was the first of soon to be many outststion trips for me.

I do know what I don't miss about travelling is the nights alone in the hotels. Haha!

What I do miss however, is the routine I have with the kids. Its the one time I have them to myself, and we normally talk about our day. What we did, what are our plans tomorrow.. stuff like that. Even Jannah has started to appreciate this but of course her stories are mostly the imaginative kind. :)

And at times like this, when I am away I really do wish I can be with them more and spend more time with them.. and it also makes me appreciate the times I do spend with them.

Balancing this keeps getting harder and harder each time...

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad



Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Dhoha


Ya Allah ya Tuhanku, sesungguhnya waktu dhoha itu waktu dhohaMu, kemegahan itu kemegahanMu, keindahan itu keindahanMu, kekuatan itu kekuatanMu, kekuasaan itu kekuasaanMu, dan perlindungan itu perlindunganMu. Ya Allah ya Tuhanku, jika rezkiku masih berada di langit maka turunkanlah dia; dan jika berada di dalam bumi maka keluarkanlah dia; dan jika sukar, maka permudahkanlah dia; dan jika haram, maka bersihkanlah dia; dan jika jauh, maka perdekatkanlah dia; dengan berkat waktu dhoha keagungan, keindahan, kekuatan dan kekuasaanMu, Engkau limpahkanlah kepada aku seperti yang telah limpahkan kepada hamba-hambaMu yang soleh itu.


Beautiful ain't it?


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Monday, January 24, 2011

Gugur Jantung



I still owe a post on the PD picnic during the school hols. But sungguh tiada mood disitu. I do however want to story about one incident that happened during the picnic. And it has something to do with the cheeky girl in the pic.

You see, unlike her sister and her cousins, she refused to touch the ocean. At all. She didn't even want to change to her swimsuit. She was content to playing with the sand by the beach. Until she got cranky. And insist to go home. Tsk.

After lunch, all the kids went for another dip. So I was actually calling them back as it was panas yang amat at that point. (It was about 3pm after all) When I came back to our spot, I looked around for Jannah and couldn't see her. Anik was not around too, so at first I thought she was with Anik. But Anik came back from the toilet - ALONE - and then all hell broke lose and everyone started panicking as Jannah was not accounted for and was nowhere to be found! 

We searched EVERYWHERE within the 100m radius, the toilet, the bath area, the shops. And she was still nowhere to be seen. It was in all honesty the longest 10 minutes of my life.

At the point where I was already hyperventilating of all the horrible horrible things that could have happened (na'uzubillah), she came within view (with her cheeky smile I might add), holding hands with her Tok. Subhanallah. Alhamdulillah. No words could have described my feelings.

You know where her Tok found her? About 500m away from where we were. 500m! According to her Tok, she was happily enjoying her little walk by the beach, oblivious to her surroundings. It was a stroke of luck(?), God's will, I would say that Tok was coming back from solat at the surau in exactly the direction Jannah was heading. 

It could have been so easy for anyone who was so inclined to just take her. She was after all holding on to her iPod then. And also had her gold anklet with her. I honestly feel faint every time I think about it.

Mama reminded me to do my sujud syukur, which I did. And I am. Syukur. Blessed. To feel for even 10 minutes how upside down and horrible the world could have been. That is something I hope I never have to feel ever again.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

All Cried Out

I thought I was done crying, but apparently I am not. It must be hormones (yes, what else is there to blame).

I guess I am not as OK as I thought. It has been (only?) a month. It would probably need more time. The healing process is still going on. Glad that I did have that good cry though.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Moody?

I've come to realise that lately (read : post-miscarriage), I am becoming more and more moody.

I lose my temper more easily.
I get riled up more easily.
I feel like shouting more often.
I get irritated a lot.

And the worse part is, the brunt of the anger is directed to the girls. Bad Mommy! Bad!

I need to take a step back, I need to stop and pause.

Or else I know I will regret it later.

At least I am aware that I'm in the wrong kan?

Ya Allah, guide me. Give me patience and give me strength. Make me a better Muslim.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Masih Mode Malas

Really.

Snap out of it already Nana. Tsk.

It's become so bad that I really don't know what to write any more.

The weekdays are too hectic and the weekends without a break. I think it got more screwed up when we had to forgo the vacation last month. Burned out. Totally.

Even at home, I don't cook anymore. By the time sampai rumah, I'd be too tired to even eat. Hence, last month's grocery pon masih ada lagi berbaki. Most dinners are quick n easy options of frozen pizza, wantan, sandwiches (tuna, chicken, baked beans) and oh-horror-maggi. Or, take outs. (And no, before anyone speculates.. I am not pregnant)

I am on the verge of making that change I so want, but for now I guess I still need to hang in there. And probably that is the reason for the so takde mood phase now. *sigh*

Ya Allah, give me strength..

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Alhamdulillah






Semoga rezeki yang Allah berikan ini dapat dimanfaatkan sebaik-baiknya. Dan janganlah jadikan ianya penyebab bagi kami menjadi lupa diri. Amin.





Friday, February 12, 2010

Lesson Learnt


When you lose something,

that you didn't even know you wanted in the first place..

and you get disappointed.

It tells you,

that you actually wanted it to begin with.

It has happened again.

But, everything happens for a reason. Aku redha, and believe it is for the best.

Friday, April 24, 2009

*sigh*

We were having dinner last night, and Jannah was concentrating on Tig.ger & Po.oh on PHDC.

So, I told Hubby that for Jannah's 2nd birthday I want to make it Pooh themed.

Upon hearing this, Aliah chipped in. "But Mommy, why not do a Bar.ney theme?"

And I realised, Aliah was right. Jannah did like Bar.ney better.

*sigh*

How did this happened? When did I stop being aware of what my kids like?

And it is at times like this that I wish I was a SAHM..

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Random Facts

[This posting was originally written somewhere in Feb '09. But I've been editing and re-editing it for a while now.]

I was about to sleep last night or was it woke up in the middle of the night and suddenly thought about this. No, this is not a random facts note about me. But about my parents. I want to put this all down now while I still remember. And this is more for Aliah and Jannah when they grow up so that they know more about their Tok and TokMi, because I didn't know much about my own grandparents and by the time I feel like asking they are no longer around and my parents couldn't answer my questions.

1. They met in Batang Berjuntai, in the 60s. Apparently, Papa was there with a friend who fancied Mama, but somehow they hooked up instead. And the rest they say is history (I still feel, there's more to this story but I can never get a straight answer from either one of them)

2. They finally got married on 19 December 1969. Initially, they wanted to have the wedding earlier but we all know what happened in May '69 so it was postponed. The groom's side didn't even want to come to KL at that time for fear of the riots.

3. They bought their first house in 1970 and that is where they have been living until 2009. For a while they rented a house in Sg Way up till the point my eldest brother was born. The price of the house then was 110k. And according to their story, they had to borrow the downpayment from my maternal grandma. This was also because they just got married, and most of their savings were used to renovate my paternal grandparents home in Kg Melayu Majidee.

4. It was an easy pregnancy for Mama while she was carrying Abang, but for the next 6 years they kept trying for a 2nd child to no avail. I was born after 2 miscarriages and a total bed rest for Mama during the pregnancy.

5. Both of them are retired government servants. Papa was the KP of NPC when he retired and Mama was the GPK of SRK DJ. Papa took the optional retirement 7 months before his actual retirement for reasons I cannot publish here and Mama being the devoted wife that she is took her optional retirement at the same time. (they both retired in Oct 1994)

6. Papa is going on 69 and Mama will be 65 this year, and they both can still drive their own cars. And both cars are manual pulak tu! (By the time I got this posted, Mama just bought herself a new Myvi - which is auto so kena scrap the drive manual cars statement)

7. Papa still goes for his daily jog and Mama goes for her daily taichi session every morning. But now, I'm not sure whether they still do. Having moved to Bangi and all that.

I can't think of any other things to add on right now, but I will add to this list later once I feel there are things of interest.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Of Belated Issues

Tsk.

Can't even think how to start. I've scrapped and deleted so many versions now.

Had an overdose of retail therapy the last couple of weeks. (Thank you Company for the bonus!) The first thing I bought was of course for the kids. Aliah got one of these from her TokWan for her birthday, so I bought another cartridge for her to play with. I've got to say, it is quite fun to play with. Even I get hooked on the games myself. Haha! Boleh lagi la kalau once a month get a new cartridge to play with - provided that the other games dah khatam lah kan. And of course, if Aliah gets something tak kan Jannah tak dapat apa2. Dahla my guilt (or is it the shopper in me? - hehe) keeps telling me we don't buy / give J enough things because basically either A already has it or she can have Aliah's. So, this is what I bought for Jannah. And she sooo loves it! She likes the spinning lighted blades. Siap ada lagu bagai. Dah la Pooh mmg her favourite. I'd definitely say it was a good buy. It was on discount at Toys.R.Us, so save lah sikit.

Before that, I already received a gift from Hubby dearest. Sangat chenta ok. It wasn't a planned buy. We were just looking coz F0ssil had some on discount at Gardens. Skali Hubby tanya "Nak ke?". Tak pandai (read : b.o.d.o.h) la kalau kata tak nak kan? Hahaha. Pucuk dicita ulam mendatang katanya. And because of the new watch, I rotate all my watches more often now. Takde la hari2 asyek nak pakai Baby.G ni je. (which was also a birthday gift from Hubby - then boyfriend almost 6 years ago). And to top it up, I bought myself a new sling bag. So there, I am retail therapy-ied for the next month or so. Haha!

**********

The 4 day break was spent in PJ helping Mama and Papa box and tag their stuff. Also seeing me throw out a WHOLE LOT of JUNK from my own boxes, some of which consists of things from 25 years ago! I've now got 2 more boxes under my own staircase from the things we cleared out in PJ.

Anyway, what amazed me the most is ALL the cards and letters I received from my BFFs. And boy there were a lot of them! I just never realised it. The birthday cards, the good luck cards, the just because cards. And the letters, all hand written with postage. Those were the days.. Now I'd be happy with a birthday card from my insurance provider. Tsk.. Hence today, I'd like to say my thanks to Caza, Ogy, Ina, Een, Niko and Kay for all the emotional support all these years.

Next week.. another round of pindah randah.